Tag Archives: Humorous

Shower Mat Nazi

28 Jun

Kettering Rehab – Self Portrait on Cell Phone

Well there is a saying (or verse)-“the Lord gives and the Lord takes away”. Because of slipping on the shower mat and hitting my left leg on the side of the tub, I have broken the femur and have lost the ability to put any pressure on my leg for 6 or more weeks.  This puts a huge hole in my weekly calender!!! But on the good side I have gained enough metal in my leg to get a good start on building a battleship. The x-ray of my leg post operation looks like a huge shoehorn with scary protrusions.  I am now a “shower mat Nazi”, checking with everyone I meet to make sure they are not to using a shower mat.  My wife has put down a bunch of gritty decals in the bottom of the deadly shower.

As God’s economy goes there is always some kind of rainbow after a storm. Let me explain this rainbow sighting. For a number of months my “Parkinson’s speech” has grown less and less understandable to those around me. With Parkinson’s a patient hears himself as speaking at a normal speaking level and in their brain can not (without help) hear that they are actually speaking very softly and indistinctly (weird disease!!!). Part of my therapy at Kettering Rehab has been to work on my speech.  Speech therapy is a normal requirement for them since they get a lot of stroke patients there. Terri and the other speech therapists have been patiently teaching me what normal speech sounds like. To me inside my head I seem to be yelling but to the outside world it is a normal level or maybe a little loud but hugely more understandable. The method is for me to think “loud” and diction, breath support, etc. follow. To be honest my relationship with Carol and the kids has been impacted negatively because sometimes it just is not worth the effort, concentration, and constant hard work to be heard and understood. This causes me to withdraw into my own little world where Carol, who has loving and patiently understood, still in the end often feels left out of my life. Pressure was slowly building as I was isolating myself even from her. Because of the intensive therapy thinking LOUD is becoming much more of a habit and I am catching my times of mumbling and soft voice.

Bottom line is a broken leg, while not in itself a blessing or fun (and I have to say has been very painful) is in our loving and all-knowing Savior’s economy a path for me back to community with my loving, dedicated wife, great kids, and my friends who have all surrounded me with prayer, love and support. Thank you!

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Alfie the Cocker Spaniel takes over the keyboard!

26 Feb

Hi, this is Alfie, the Cocker Spaniel.  My dad was too tired to write anything tonight, so I took over.  After all, it is all about me! Cockers rule!

Today my dad took me and Riley, my rowdy baby cousin, on a long walk to get the car from the car fix it-up place.  It was a great walk.  Got to eat some snow, smell some good poop smells, and almost got to pick up another tennis ball to add to my collection.  I got to see some new parts of my town.  My fur got really messy and muddy – that was the greatest thing about the walk!

Well, we got in the car and I found a rawhide bone under the front car seat!  That made up for the tennis ball I didn’t get to pick up.  When we got back to my house Dad ran water in the bath tub.  I knew I was doomed.  Wow, I hate baths.  Here is a picture of me in the bath tub.  Not happy in the least.

This will probably lead to a brushing.  I hate those brushes.  I think I will hide them sometime.  After I got out of the bath tub I ran around like a crazy woman with Riley chasing me and biting at me while I rubbed on the carpet and couch to dry off.  I got mad at Riley and his sharp baby teeth!  What a little brat!  Well, I guess I am kind of getting used to having her around.  Except for those sharp teeth!

That was my day.  Lots of boring sleeping then the longest walk I have had in a while!  I think I’ll take a nap.